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Monday, 16 November 2009

Currently
Painted Red
Your hands
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i and You

i've never known where i belong
but somehow You've found me wherever i've gone.
i've often felt alone like nothing was my own
but You've found me and took me home.
i've questioned everything empty inside of me
but You've answered with love unconditionally.
i've shed a tear or two through my childhood
but You've stood to catch them like no one could.
i've turned away when i was tired and thirsty
but You've forgiven me with tearful mercies.
sometimes i've cried and sometimes i've died
but You were there ready and prepared and so i
know where i belong today-You've been with me always.
Always.

Tuesday, 10 November 2009

Currently
Under the Iron Sea
By Keane
Bad Dream
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dreams

i've had 2 odd dreams the past 2 nights/mornings.

the first dream i've forgotten most. i just know it somehow involved Pastor Ken talking to or meeting Art and being in some kind of room. I think Art was talking about Buddha or something?

this last dream was a bit scary:
He was still alive, laying on the couch and somehow it was communicated to me that he was ready to die. He pulled out 2 cyanide pills. He took one and then i took one. he swallowed one and then i did. he said something about it being painless, i wasn't so sure. he went to sleep, coughing a little bit. as i took it, i felt myself passing out. i knew what i was doing but then i decided to get up and walk to my old bedroom. he coughed as i walked.

for some reason, i thought that this cyanide pill was more of a RESET button than dying, that i would be born again and that i could start my life all over again from scratch. Then, as i lay in my bed, i hurd my mother in the background. i felt my heart pounding against my chest. Suddenly it hit me that i may just die to nothingness or worse. i tried to sleep away to death but my heart kept pounding harder and harder.

i got up, feebly walked to my book shelf and tried to look up "Cyanide" in the World Book Encyclopedia set i used to have. i coughed and then i woke up- more glad than ever that it was just a dream.
Dedicated to the Crushed

i see you from afar, u know me but not my heart
what's hard is i've waited for how many days?
i've lost count because now when we speak
it's as fresh to me as the first day we meet.
i'll wait for you to turn your heart to mine
when it's time, i'll ignore the world
when it's just you and me, a boy and a girl.

you still dont realize when you see my eyes
as my heart sinks i wonder what you think
when we speak, my mind keeps singing
songs of love to deaf ears because all you hear
are words plain and unclear, painfully for years.

Wednesday, 28 October 2009

Currently
Grand
By Matt and Kim
Lessons Learned
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i know it's not true but i feel it

my heart is heavy, my heart is worn
i feel i carry this burden all alone
eyes closed i cant cry once more
head down, my thoughts grow
leaves descend in red in a lightless night
but all i feel is the chill of silence that lies
with this path that embeds my steps alone
and no one hears the sighs and so
my heart is heavy, my heart is worn

Wednesday, 21 October 2009

Prelude to the best man speech

win, what can i say, it's been long,
and i know that's what she said,
but i wont go there, instead
i'll start with how we first met
blue jeans and a white-T,
that was you and me.

you said we first met on the rieber courts
breaking ankles and balling
but i remember a man,
broken-hearted and fallen,
face in his hands and lost with nowhere to go,
searching and looking for his soul.
blue jeans and a white-T,
that was you and me.

Marsh, Tani, and Nor thot we'd get along.
but it took awhile before God strengthened our bonds.
still, i remember, one year later, i confessed
when my life was a mess, i looked at you
and knew God was true.
He changed the broken-hearted
to a heart broken for His people-
to this day, i know no heart in size
and love that is your equal.
blue jeans and a white-T,
that was you and me.

by the time you called me
you grew out of the jeans and T's
you said her name was Melody
excitement like a child, but you held back
for the sake of hurts of the past-
i knew, we shared,
still, something was there.
that was you and her.

the second call, i could see the smile
from your voice. you could whisper
and i could see your face, beaming
like the sun, it was for her, and she said yes.
your joys, your excitement was my happiness
and I couldn’t help but smile back.
The man I knew, with blue jeans and a white-T,
My brother, is getting married.